More Thoughts on Singleness
I feel that being able to convey a ‘God-centered’ focus while you discover the beauty of your individual uniqueness is a priceless experience. Sometimes, in that journey of discovery, one can so easily become sidetracked and confused. One’s standards shift and Jesus is relegated to a ‘good, gospel read’. Why do we? Jesus should be our example. As the text says
“For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:”
1 Peter 2 : 21
If that is so then He is the epitome of the who, what, why & how that we are to represent at all times. It is through Him, that we are empowered to become all things to all men without sacrificing integrity, self-worth or abundant living, loving & laughing.
“ Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.”
1 Corinthians 10 : 33
Contrary to popular belief, we don’t have to be the proverbial ‘holier than thou’. However, wholeness/holiness is something we must strive for. We are instructed to be holy, for our Lord & King is holy as Jesus himself admonishes us in Mathew 5:8
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”
As we mature and develop spiritually, mentally, & physically it behoves, strengthens & stretches us to become well-rounded in our appreciation for the gift of ALL of Gods creation without the feeling we’re headed straight to hell. It is not a sin to be single.
Genisis 2:18 states
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
It is a perfectly legitimate natural desire to have, as God put it there. Don’t be always on the hunt, don’t make bagging a husband your reason for being. There is a text I will defer to:
It states
“ But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” A quote from Jesus Matthew 6 : 33
Be Patient wait on the Lord for your future husband. “What do I do while I’m waiting?” I hear you asking . In the meantime seek the Kingdom and be about your father’s business
Now what does that mean.
34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Mathew 25:34-36
My advice to the single woman is to look to loving the Lord God as the Great I Am, the Creator & Sustainer of ALL life with ALL that is within us and then loving His creation as we love ourselves. ALL else will then be added unto us for ALL else is His kingdom
There is a marked difference between the two states of being for a woman so follow the Pauline prescription given here
“ There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7 :34
Did you get that? As a single woman in waiting you should be caring for the things of the Lord.
There is also another text for the other type of single woman.
“ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. “
1 Corinthians 7 : 8
Meaning if you are divorced , widowed or simply choose to be single then that is okay too, just keep working for the Lord. Let no one make you feel you have a disease or that you are a dysfunctional woman.
When we look to minding the business of our Father, be that business in our communities, churches, workplaces, cross-cultural encounters, etc, the glory of our Father is displayed through us for ALL the world to see. Such radiance, such light, such brilliance cannot be hidden nor mistaken. It, we, will get properly noticed at the appointed time by a Jacob, Boaz, Isaac, Joseph.(smile)
It truly warms my heart that our Father is not the Author of confusion or strife and delights in divine order. I encourage you today to Reread the order of things in Genisis 2. Firstly God prepared the first home in the garden, then Adam was given charge over it as he ‘daily’ walked with the Master to discover his own uniqueness. Once that relationship was strengthened, then the precious treasure called woman was taken out of man only to be presented back to him in a ‘divinely crafted’ fashion.
Now listen up my sister here is my tip. In a similar way, for want of a better word a saved, sanctified baptised, Christian woman can spot an unsaved man and help him uncover that which is great within him. However, if he is unwilling to relinquish his will to Christ or receive the gift of salvation, it wouldn’t be prudent to give way to his pursuit. After ALL, without the Spirit of God to lead & guide him, as your ‘covering’, how can he effectively lead & guide you? Did you catch that? Now let’s turn our KJV Bible to
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6 : 14
This is not a recommendation it’s a command. Let us reel out the Sabbath/Sunday school stories. Solomon had heathen wives and they lead him away from Yaweh.
Let’s not even go there with the polygamy( I have an article I’ll be writing on that coming soon) Recount the history of the nation of Israel they married other unbelieving women and were lead into idolatry resulting in civil war the nation split in two and being punished by Yaweh and taken into Babylonian captivity. Do you get the picture Ladies? I am happy to report it worked for me.
The next tip is let go of your image of what he should look like or what he should have.Yes I am going to go there ladies. That list you have advising God what your husband should be. You have NOT truly surrendered to God’s will in your life as far as a husband is concerned.
Women often can be methodical even legalistic following everything the church teaches…EVERYTHING – we are ADDICTED to religion.
Now I’m talking from my own experience here as a child from a single parent family. For me and perhaps yourself this next point may ring true for you.
The strong male authoritative figure in the pulpit is often the ONLY strong male we have seen or are attached to, and it meets such a deep strong need and provokes respect and admiration, therefore we think this is what we need in a husband.
So, women restrict themselves and limit their options because they are looking for a certain type of man to find them – not understanding that God’s best FOR THEM may not be wrapped in the package they expect. Now here is a shocker be open to marrying outside your race or beneath your social status or education.
Some women will fast, pour oil, and pray for a brother single saint who is seemingly spirit filled who has a top high flying career, homeowner and fast car.
They neglect to see the humble teacher, computer technician, the mechanic ,the carpenter, painter /decorator.( Jesus was a carpenter lol) There is a text I like to lean on here
“ But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”
1 Corinthians 1 : 27
In conclusion I’d like to declare that yes I may be young and yes I’ve only been married 10 years but these are not my thoughts they are amply supported by scripture.
That being said this information isn’t for everyone, and doesn’t speak to every single woman. There are those who want to stay single. There are those who are patiently waiting, but then there are those of you who have been believing, and have even heard from God that the time is soon. If that is you, then please, take the wisdom presented here.
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